I am very fearful.

About fatality...

I have one question to myself.
What is fatality?
And what is fate?

Perhaps, do you believe fatality and fate?
I want to clamor a little about it.


First, I found Korean dictionary whether word that I know has right meaning.
It may become a tool that Korean-English dictionary that translate from Korean into English presents so much words and because I do not understand correct meaning of the word, is more useful Korean dictionary explains.

Fatality of word that I use has next time meaning.

1. Enter into a relation between people
2. Braid of fatality(connection) that is related with some things
3. History or reason
4. <Use in Buddhism>
Word which 'from[ be due to, be caused by, be attributable, on account of]' together 'connection[contacts, pull]'.
Namely, it is exoteric and indirect force that help direct force and it that make result.
5. <Use in Buddhism>
Process of 'Result that become cause'

As it is difficult that express impression of mind by writing, it is very difficult that translate from language into other language.
Anyway, this English translation used best method that I can do.



There was quadrilateral stone. The quadrilateral stone was put in same place continuously as was at beginning of the world.
However, water began to flow to place that the quadrilateral stone is suddenly one day. And quadrilateral stone felt that water is flowing first time. The quadrilateral stone felt that quantity of water that hit own gradually and flows is increasing gradually. And the current of water made to move own. The quadrilateral stone never want to move. He besought to stay there as is born at beginning of the world only. However, he did not have ability that can select about it.

As do deride his aim, current of water made to move him. He could not refuse.
As soon as these ideas occur, his side had lain in ground since beginning of the world began to make a turn direction by water pressure gradually, and his body moved 90 degree again perfectly shortly.

"Ouch!"

His body rotates raptly and corner of his body was bumped by ground and broke. He felt great ache. When he paid attention, here and there of his body broke and had much injuries staving. He was no longer quadrilateral now. Although his body had quadrilateral image approximatively although up to now, he was no longer perfect quadrilateral because corner of his body is much broken.

He gave a long sigh and he thought. 'Now, are all situations ended?'

However, this was beginning only. And forward, he could not imagine entirely that such situation may happen constantly while he is alive.


Often, we speak that human is a social animal. Also, we speak that human can not live alone without other human because human is a social animal.

As is different from other animals to human, I think that have very excellent method that is language and conversation. I think that each other through such conversation or language is possible thing which can accomplish social constituent. However, human has only own world. Sometimes, can rest in and can hide and can have there forever and pass. It can be called and is that it is character, and that is egoistic mind, can be called and is, and can be called that is self.

I am going to give a general name it that is self now. Human is going to protect oneself essentially. I had thought the self about that express it by some shape to express image.
I thought state of self of infancy that is going to have quadrilateral image. And A human meet other human and society while lives and the form changes. And meet 'Other human and society' while human lives and the form changes. I think that definite reason that human could have lived several hundred centuries so far is because had changed.

There is season. And the season change constantly. There is nature, and the nature changes constantly. Human would can exist though adapt and changes to adapt to it. Self according to it would change together or first.
However, change is not very easy. And the change causes ache. I think that perhaps fear change everybody. However, current we would not exist if feared change everybody.

I think that life may receive injury and be process that archetype goes because the form changes gradually in quadrilateral while 'Self which had quadrilateral at beginning of the world' lives. Old human remember it to experience because went through enough these process. And they had taught next generation does not experience again it about pain that suffered at the process. It might deliver in a book or episode or form of picture as wisdom of life. Only, degree that suffer the impact that accomplish self according to quality of the material and according to molecular structure may become different very. It may be human nature and genes and personality and surrounding that live. However, such experience may not become all helps that live the future necessarily. Because all changes. So, we experience other pain. I want to use word called 'challenge' to express it.

I wrote quantity strange writing to explain my mind. Before explain my mind regularly, it was because comprehension about the quadrilateral which I explain need.



I was quadrilateral at beginning of the world. I had form such as serration living with other people in fence that is society. Because method that I can survive in organization which is achieved to great many toothed wheels that is society is thing which I become toothed wheel of form such as them only.
While I live, now became toothed wheel that have 33 saw tooth in quadrilateral. Ah, I suffered so many sacrifices and pain for it. My 33 toothed wheels are not perfect in place that I am situated present, but worked to bite each other with other toothed wheels properly. I have 33 saw tooths, but it is not strong relatively. Perhaps, the reason may be because did not become when I am enough strong yet.
Sometimes, when I am bumped with saw tooth of personal appearance that is different, I suffered big impact and injury. And I had come and hide to the world of self which the world of toothed wheel is not because of the impact and injury.



[ My expression is mistaken what it is so far. However, I do not know that must correct it how at where. ]


OK! No more talking about.... :P


I forgot essence of story.
I began from story about fatality and fate. It has very similar form in English word. However, meaning that I think is a little different. Fatality and fate seem to be each other similar, but it is the other entirely. Korean people speak often so about fatality. Even if graze, it is fatality. Fatality can make easily comparatively and can be thought. However, fate that I think includes fatality, it is fate that person's life is decided since the moment that is born already. However, fate is never absolute. Everybody can change fate. However, it is never easy that have removed tail of fate.

I think that a person to change own fate is adventurer. Is not attempt that change own fate true adventure?

Live life and meet many people and is separate. These processes are decided already. I had talked for quadrilateral and toothed wheel. I had discussed about it with my friend.

And my way of thinking had big controversial point. It was size of toothed wheel justly. If I change size of toothed wheel flexibly, would can go in gear with society by pain that is less comparatively. It is stubbornness justly that disturb the flexibility, it may be egoistic attachment.
It is image that I hate really. However, I had looked away truth that I also had the image.

I have very big injury now. Goddess of time requires patience and patience to me. I had looked away although knew problem already. Goddess of time is going to help me. Goddess of time is going to help me so that I may can change to toothed wheel that have flexibility and live.

And I feel that weird is approaching to me again. Is it an opportunity? Or may I become loss persimmon?
Because is plain-spoken, I am very fearful now. Ready of mind that I accept new thing yet is completed less. However, weird is approaching continuously to me. I am very confused.
I know well, Nevertheless, I become toothed wheel of some size is going to know though is bumped whether do. And may return to bite each other to that wish to change size properly. A person changeing. And can buy though change. I stand again at beginning of change so.

BUT

I am very fearful.
And I am very confused.



written by Benjamin